It's been a tough last year for Pacman Jones. He got in trouble for, well, pretty much everything, including his penchant for (allegedly) shooting up strip clubs with friends. Naturally, the main goal of the Cowboys has been to keep Pacman out of trouble this offseason so he can play again. Which, naturally, meant no more strip clubs.

But you know what they say, you can take the man out of the strip club, but you can't take the strip club out of the man. Or something like that. What I'm saying is, Pacman's still got a hankerin' for some partially clothed ladies.

Which is what makes this next piece of news so great.

Pacman reportedly learned that his reinstatement had been accepted by the NFL while at Hooters. Seriously.

Jones was at Hooters eating a chicken sandwich when he got off the phone with league and team officials regarding his suspension.

Here's what Jones had to say about getting reinstated: "It feels good man, you know, to get a second chance and I just have to take advantage of it. First and foremost, I don't want to let myself down, definitely my little girl down. I'm thankful for Jerry, the fans in Dallas and my teammates for believing in me. I need to keep doing what I've been doing to get reinstated staying with myself and my teammates and staying away form those knuckleheads and just stay focused."

Baby steps, Pacman. Baby steps.

By the way, Pacman has a great support group in place to help him this year.

Since being traded to the Cowboys, Jones has tried to surround himself with a better support group. He's befriended former Cowboys Michael Irvin and Deion Sanders. Jones has also become friends with several of his new teammates, including Tank Johnson, whom the Cowboys helped return from a similar suspension last season.  

Let's see, Irvin's been arrested multiple times on drug charges and been accused of sexual assault, while Tank Johnson's been arrested for carrying or owning pretty much every assault weapon on earth aside from a grenade launcher.

Sounds like a great support team to me. I can't see any possible way this could go wrong.

Adam Jones at Hooters [Cowboys Blog]

Who should we blame for the Yankees terrible season? [The Big Lead]

Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams will ring the NASDAQ opening bell tomorrow. I suggest you sell your stocks immediately. [Deadspin]

The first modern day hillbilly has made an NBA roster. [Hardwood Paroxysm]

Nastia Liukin on Leno. Also manages to get Norm McDonald to say "Commie Gobbeldigook." [Fanhouse]

The guy that's the lowest rated player in Madden 09 is Karl Malone's illegitimate son. Considering what an awful father Malone was to this kid, wish him the best. [Yahoo! Sports]

The Tampa Rays made one guy rich. Richer than astronauts! [Baseball Mastermind]

Tony Romo just bought a pretty cheap house. I mean, by his standards. Actually, it's still pretty cheap. [The Landry Hat]

Suggested Team Slogan If At Second You Don't Succeed, Try, Try Again

What we learned in 2007 Not bad for a down year. After losing Troy Smith, Ted Ginn Jr. and other talents, last year was supposed to be a down year at Ohio State, but they still found their way back to the BCS National Championship game. Partly because the Big Ten was down, and largely because other teams blew their opportunity to jump over the Buckeyes. I never thought it was possible for a team to get to the title game twice in a row and somehow have their reputation take a hit. The Buffalo Bills called and want their scrutiny back.

On the bright side, as if a BCS Championship loss were a big negative, we learned the Buckeyes would have a hell of a backfield returning. Todd Boeckman is 1st team preseason All-Big Ten, as is Chris "Beanie" Wells who could run his way to a Heisman.

We also learned how badly James Laurinaitis and Malcolm Jenkins love college football and want to win a title, turning down a 1st round draft selection to return to Columbus for their season seasons.

Expectations in '08 National Championship. Anything less is a disappointment, although I believe some fans would settle for being competitive in the title game.

The Buckeyes should run away with the Big Ten crown this season with Boeckman, Wells, Robiskie and Alex Boone returning as All-Big Ten talent, if not All-American on offense. The defense must overcome the loss of freakish defensive end Vernon Gholston, but replacing talent on D has never been an issue under Jim Tressel.

Expect James Laurinaitis to wrap-up the Butkus award by mid-season. I don't think Beanie Wells will win the Heisman, but I do expect him to visit New York in early December.

Now, the man everyone is expecting to see: Terrelle Pryor. Tressel's initial depth chart listed him as a third stringer this week, but Sweater Vest confirmed Pryor will play Saturday and will continue to get snaps. Boeckman is a consistent under center and avoids the big errors, but its hard not to think about the multi-dimensional threats of the nation's No. 1 recruit. So expect increased workload from him, and a significant role as the Michigan game nears, a la Tim Tebow his freshman year.

What could hold them back The SEC. I'm a Big Ten fan, and even though these Buckeyes are seeking revenge with an experienced roster, I still can't comfortably predict they'll stop an SEC team in the National Title game.

More particularly, if we're to be overly picking, I'd say that the Buckeyes defensive line isn't up to its usual standards and isn't what it was last year. So there is that possibility a team could power run themselves over the Buckeyes, with Wisconsin and Michigan State as the only possibilities.

We also know the Buckeyes are sometimes the victim of a spread it out, speed-attack and there just happens to be up the road in Ann Arbor.

Big Men on Campus Beanie Wells is a stud, but Laurinaitis and Jenkins get my BMOC love for turning down cash (maybe?) to stay on a college campus and toss around some Big Ten foes. Not to mention these guys just look like the prototypical players at their respective positions.

Cheerleader Grade



We have a special thing for Ohio girls, having gone to school down in that State. They love their football. That said, they still can't be excused for this gaffe A-



Schedule and Prediction

Aug. 30	Youngstown State W
Sept. 6	Ohio U. W
Sept. 13	at USC L
Sept. 20	Troy W
Sept. 27	Minnesota W
Oct. 4	at Wisconsin W
Oct. 11	Purdue W
Oct. 18	at Michigan State W
Oct. 25	Penn State W
Nov. 8	at Northwestern W
Nov. 15	at Illinois W
Nov. 22	Michigan W

11-1 (8-0 Big Ten) -- More outrage from the Big Ten haters as Ohio State makes a return trip to the BCS National Championship Game. Best case to halt a three year streak are at Michigan State and at Wisconsin, but I just don't see those teams being able to play the perfect game necessary. March on down the field again...

Your thoughts and predictions?

What is it with West divisions this year? Nobody wants to win the NL West. The NFC West won't be much more competitive. There is one good team, one mediocre team that is a perennial underachiever and two awful teams.

Let's break down how this division should turn out this year, from worst of the worst, to first of the worst.

4) St. Louis Rams

They do have Steven Jackson, though there will be questions about how fast he can get up to speed after his holdout. You could do worse than Marc Bulger throwing to Torry Holt. Orlando Pace is one of the best in the game, when he is healthy (which hasn't been too often the last couple of years). Unfortunately, you could do a lot better pretty much everywhere else.

Rookie Chris Long is a great addition to the defense, but will he be able to contribute what he needs to right away? The Rams are in a place where they have only a few players they would like to build around for the future, and many players who will be looking to rebound from poor years or stave off inevitable declines as they get older. Barring injuries, they should be better than last year, but ultimately, they just won't be talented enough, especially on defense. There's not much to be optimistic about here.

Prediction: 5-11


3) San Francisco 49ers

The San Francisco 49ers begin this season much differently than they did last year. In 2007, high expectations made most fans think the franchise was on the road back to glory. A 5-11 record said otherwise. The offense was last in most statistical categories, and head coach Mike Nolan will be under pressure to turn the team around.

On paper, the 49ers offense should be much better this year. Mike Martz is the new offensive coordinator, but doesn't have the personnel he needs yet. Frank Gore hopes to rebound from a disappointing 2007 season that saw him rush for almost 600 fewer yards than the year before. The team did add DeShaun Foster, Isaac Bruce and Bryant Johnson to the mix, giving the team a few more weapons. The team also dumped Alex Smith as starter, replacing him with J.T. O'Sullivan. Anybody would be a better choice at QB than Smith, including most of the homeless people wandering around Mission Street.

As for the defense, efforts to clone Defensive Rookie of the Year Patrick Willis were unsuccessful.

Unless Martz can work a miracle and get the offense together quickly, this will be a long season for the Niners and all the nice suits in the world won't help Nolan keep his job.

Prediction: 5-11


2) Arizona Cardinals

The same preview has been written for the Arizona Cardinals for the last 10 years or so.

"The Arizona Cardinals have high hopes for the 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 season, and many experts have chosen them as a sleeper pick. Following last year's disappointing 3-13 7-9 5-11 4-12 6-10 5-11 5-11 8-8 season, the team is looking to turn the the corner under head coach Vince Tobin Dave McGinnis Dennis Green Ken Whisenhunt."

Why should this year be any different?

Any team that has Larry Fitzgerald, Anquan Boldin & Edgerrin James as its primary weapons should be able to move the ball and put up a lot of points. This should be the case no matter who is at quarterback. Of course, there's that whole issue: Matt Leinart or Kurt Warner? The only way the story would be more drawn out would be if Brett Favre was involved. Has Leinart put down the beer bong long enough to be ready to lead the team? Warner might be the better QB at the moment, but he is hardly perfect, having single-handedly blown several games himself. The Cardinals start with games against the 49ers and Dolphins. If Leinart can't get the job done against those 2 weak teams, he doesn't deserve to start & Warner will quickly be brought in (assuming that Leinart does indeed begin the season as the starter).

Defensively, the Cardinals should be solid. Injuries to the defense kept the unit from achieving what it could have last season. If Adrian Wilson, Chike Okeafor and Bertrand Berry can return to full health, the defense will be much improved.

Prediction: 9-7 (a pretty weak schedule helps)


1) Seattle Seahawks

Every year, the Seattle Seahawks seem to do much better than people expect them to. Of course, it helps having the division opponents mentioned above. This will be Mike Holmgren's last season as head coach.

The passing game should continue to be Seattle's strength. Matt Hasselbeck threw for almost 4000 yards last year. The team will be without leading receiver Bobby Engram for the first few weeks of the year, but depth at the receiver position and a stronger running game should keep the offense going. Julius Jones and T.J. Duckett should be upgrades over the late Shaun Alexander in the backfield. Patrick Kearney, Lofa Tatupu and Julian Peterson are the stars of a more-than-capable defense.

Prediction: 10-6


As far as the playoffs, Seattle will make it in as the division winner & could win a game or two in the postseason. The Cardinals will be a Wild Card contender.  The Rams & 49ers will be lucky to still be in the hunt for a playoff spot in November.

The NFC West: Catch the Fever!

As most of you know, longtime hated sports columnist Jay Mariotti resigned from the Chicago Sun-Times yesterday. Some people were wondering how the paper would react. Well, today you have your answer.

They can barely contain their glee, by which I mean they can't contain it at all.

According to Deadspin, Pete Gaines (the current ombudsman at Jalopnik) sent an email yesterday to Sun-Times Editor In Chief Michael Cooke:

Sir:

I wish to inform you that due to recent developments on the Jay Mariotti front, I will now read your newspaper. In fact, I picked one up on the way to work this morning. Not a half-bad rag, I must say. Bully on you.

Regards,

Pete Gaines

Here was Cooke's response.

Every cloud has silver lining .. and this one is golden.

THANK YOU !

As you can see, the Sun-Times didn't even keep Gaines' email quiet. Instead, they announced it to the world - with a picture of Gaines, to boot - on the front page.

Normally, I'd say this isn't very classy. But since this involved Mariotti, it's hilarious beyond belief.

Bully on you indeed, Sun-Times.